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Stumbling out of the gate

Skinny jeans. Check.
Varvatos limited edition Chuck Taylors. Check.
Overkill of Apple products. Check.
Fair Trade gourmet coffee from independent Austin coffee shop. Check.

By all outward appearances, I belong at SXSWi. So when I went to pick up my interactive badge this afternoon, you can imagine my shock when they told me my name wasn’t in the computer. I can still hear the snickers of the nerd herd behind me as they waited for their badges to be printed.

I mean, just my luck. Out of the two dozen volunteers handing out badges, I choose the one who can’t work a computer. And with each iteration of my name she attempts, I’m watching my cred drop like the Dow.

“Perhaps you didn’t properly register and that’s why your name isn’t showing up.”

This ain’t my first rodeo. I explained to her (quietly as to not draw further attention to this atrocity) that I signed up for a username/password, even filled out my schedule online and tweeted it. Dear God, has she even heard of Twitter?“But did you fill out the online form and enter your promo code to redeem your badge? Anyone can sign up for a username and fill out a schedule online. That doesn’t mean anything.”

Silence.

At this point, she could have very easily pulled out a dictionary and showed me the definition of “irony.” Because here I am, trying to attend an interactive conference to learn about the most innovative technologies and practices, and I can’t even fill out a damn online form correctly.

I fully expected to be escorted out of registration and into a daycare where I could play with LEGOS for the next 4 days (the big ones to ensure I wouldn’t put one in my mouth and choke).

So, for all of you counting on me to be an insightful SXSW Surrogate, perhaps we should lower the bar of expectation. I suggest following Luke, Sam or Jefferson because I’m not off to a strong start.

Hell, I don’t even know how to post this to WordPress.

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